Local man Daniel Broadbent was shocked to discover he was unable to unlock his Samsung device with his thumbprint after spending over an hour in the bath.
“I just didn’t see it coming” a wrinkly-fingered Broadbent told Bluffington. “My Galaxy S7 simply did not recognise my thumbprint – this is a major design flaw for the modern user who washes regularly”.
Bluffington contacted top scientist Veva Georgeson to explain what made our fingers go wrinkly when exposed to prolonged periods of soaking in water:
I did some laboratory tests with my mates in the lab and we found that wrinkly fingers improve our grip on wet or submerged objects, working to channel away the water like the rain treads in car tyres.
This evolutionary evidence supports Richard Dawkins’ theory that early human ancestors used to ride around on dolphins and whales to get to the shops or go to work.
Samsung refused to speak to us.
…more fake news