Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Car Firm Targets Mentally Ill To Turn A Profit

What’s so convenient about driving to some dingy office in an industrial estate to sell your car for less than half its value? How the fuck are you supposed to get home?

By Steven Cron, in Local on .

What’s so convenient about driving to some dingy office in an industrial estate to sell your car for less than half its value? How the fuck are you supposed to get home?

Surely you’d have to be out of your mind right? – CORRECT!

An insider report has revealed today that ‘We Buy Any Car’ runs a successful business by taking advantage of those less capable of making informed decisions.

Shaun Roach told us that the mentally ill are “easy prey”

Head of Operations Shaun Roach gave a revealing insight into the company’s business model:

We concentrate most of our advertising efforts around mental health institutions – this is also where we set-up our branches. To maintain low operating costs most of our offices are just posh sheds we dump in industrial estates and supermarket car parks. We gave one gentleman £200 for a brand new Mercedes S-Class he inherited. He was on another level.

He continued…

Occasionally somebody of sound mind will walk into our offices. Our staff are trained to deal with “normies” by offering them alcoholic beverages until they are suitably smashed enough to sign over their vehicle.

Bluffington discovered that selling your car privately is the much saner thing to do.

…more news satire

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