Man Can’t Unlock Smartphone After Spending Too Long In Bath
Local man Daniel Broadbent was shocked to discover he was unable to unlock his Samsung device with his thumbprint after spending over an hour in the bath.
ISIS Are “Rubbish Terrorists” Who “Lack Focus And Ambition”
Not-So-Secret MI6 Agent Harriott has criticised troubled terrorist group ISIS for piggybacking on other people’s work and for not having English subtitles in their promo videos.
Man Buys FakeNews.com And Redirects It To FoxNews.com
In what has been described as a “Dick move” by Fox President Roger Ailes a man from Boston has bought fakenews.com and directed all of its traffic directly to the Fox News web site.
Radio 2’s Simon Mayo Receives Daily Deaths Threats Over Muppets Song
It has emerged that Simon Mayo’s All Request Friday show on Radio 2 has attracted him a torrent of abuse and even death threats over the weekly playing of the Muppets version of Piero Umiliani’s Mah Nà Mah Nà.
Controversial Seller Of Terminally Ill Pets Claims “A Dog Can Just Be For Christmas”
Absurd startup company ‘Part Time Pets’ have received immense criticism over its service to supply terminally ill pets to owners who “Don’t have the time for a long-term commitment”.
Man Who Starts Sentence With “I’m Not Being Racist” Turns Out To Be A Racist
Roger Hayes from Brashfield has created an Internet storm after turning out to be a racist despite his forewarning of not being one.
SEO Expert Admits He Doesn’t Know What The F*** He’s Doing
“You can send some clients a fancy graph and a bill and they actually pay you – I swear to God” were the boastful words of SEO “Expert” Brendan Banks in an interview with Bluffington.
Car Firm Targets Mentally Ill To Turn A Profit
What’s so convenient about driving to some dingy office in an industrial estate to sell your car for less than half its value? How the fuck are you supposed to get home?
Man Lays Huge Egg
Clifford Crisp from Spamsley has become the first man in the country to lay a huge egg. …more fake news…
Immigrant Man Steals Job From Investment Banker
Ikenna Agócs has admitted today that he stole the job of an investment banker whilst he was on his lunch break.